Why not date at such an early age?

I have this conversation with my 10 year old. She thinks kissing is gross and though she has liked a boy here and there, ever since kindergarten, she never told them. And feelings pass. We talked about that. How we like someone at a young age, and one morning we wake up and can’t think of why we liked them. Interests shift, infatuation passes. But if you tell them, you make it official, you draw their attention, then you have to tell them when you don’t like them. The faster the emotions change the more with you give yourself. So examine your feelings, treat everyone kindly, acknowledge the infatuation, don’t act on it. Let it sit with you. What appeals in others. What does that say about you, about your interests, what would you like to develop, what area would you grow in. Take time to read, to become an interesting person yourself. Go somewhere not follow someone aimlessly.

“The one” will become evident much later in life. Not in early teens. Give yourself the freedom to change, to discover yourself first and foremost. It’s not selfish. It’s preparing yourself for a future of substance. Be gracious. Be generous. Be kind.

My kids are already funny, clever, pursuing fun in healthy self developing ways. They are beautiful. Inside and out. And I pray for their future spouses. May god develop young men of character and courage, to love them well. To love God. To know God.

Dating in my teens would have limited my imagination and growth. I would have been too concerned with what another likes, and tried to meet them in their world, rather than discover my own.

Infatuation is normal, healthy, nothing to be ashamed of or stuff down. Jackie even said she doesn’t want to tell me about all the boys she likes, there is one she likes to watch plaguing football at recess, but he is older, and she is too embarrassed to admit she likes him, and one of her colleagues used to tell her mom everything, but she feels like she should keep some thinks to herself, so Jackie is now trying the same approach of not telling me whom she likes, but she is so talkative that she tells me she won’t tell me. I smile and nod. And I tell her I accept her terms. She doesn’t need to give me any details about the boy she likes. His name or grade.

Ivy takes notes, as we have these riveting conversations in the car to school.

What a gift this time is. I relish in it.