Or better called sleep deprivation. 

It’s Friday and we had a very long week. Ivy stayed an hour overtime at school waiting for Jackie to finish her longer days with sports or extra classes. It was abnormally cold even if at times it was sunny. 

I had zoom meetings every day, and I meetings in person, morning meetings, late at night meetings, and just like my day job I only get paid in gratitude or appreciation. The satisfaction of doing what I like. 

This amount of exhaustion is not sustainable. I may have been brainwashed that it would be justified for a short period of time if there was financially rewarding, because it would be easily quantifiable and I could pull back within clear boundaries and give up something as I wanted to reclaim my space, time and energy. 

Anyway, here we are. It’s already Saturday morning and I regret the decision of letting Jackie have a sleepover. It disrupts the rhythm of rest. Of much needed rest for all of us. Ivy slept in the office for the first time and she woke me up many times all night. Till it was nearly 5 and Conrad decided it was time to get up. I let her sleeping in my bed. Yesterday they played hard, did eat well, didn’t drink enough water, ate junk food when I was busy on a call and watched movies.  

Sleepovers are a good test of embraced and well understood values.