I have renewed energy as I gain some clarity about my timeline in this volunteering project. I have been intensely stretched and on one hand I loved the community. But on the other hand I have felt out of my league against my will. So many times I felt close to panic attack due to the demands of the job. Urgent responsibilities and the constant noise and sheer amount of people.
When I finally quoted down my anxious mind and asked God why I feel this way. All I got was silence. No answer. But then I asked: “show I continue in this role? And what I heard with some surprising clarity: “I never asked you to get involved in this”. And I felt convicted.
I joined because I was asked, to pass the time, to serve and then instead of doing it for a bit, I got dragged deeper and deeper into the fold.
I felt I had no choice but go with the flow. Now with the risk of disappointing people. Actually with the certainty that I will disappoint people, I am planing my exit. A year in advance. Building a translation team, facilitating wholeheartedly the cohesion of my group, hosting a few adoption meetings.
Clear direction makes things light. A timeline makes this feel manageable.