I woke up with this thought: that sometimes we ought to save our kids from our overprotective-selves.
Out of a sense of heightened responsibility we intervene when we shouldn’t. We rescue when we should hold off on jumping to save, just another minute. We justify ourselves or our kids when we should hold our tongues. We mediate when it’s not at all necessary.
Adults should be able to fend for themselves in relation to kids. “No. Not right now. Maybe later” are golden words to learn to say with kindness and confidence. My daughter will go and ask directly for this or that, and especially: “will you play with me?” Occasionally I remind her how much she’s been played with, and to have mercy on the weary adults.
Parents trying to be more than they are overdo it. When I’m confident and comfortable with my decision and myself I react less to the outside events. I let it unfold, be, happen.
I read the best quote in a book recently. Paraphrasing here: Humility is staying as close to the truth as possible about ourselves and about the world around us. Humility is not putting ourselves down for good measure. Humility is staying grounded. Feet planted solid, stable, true.