Happiness is feeling useful, capable, independent.
We cater to our kids and making this easy for them and in return rob them of the satisfaction of knowing they can do Jh are things.
My almost preteen daughter can be moody, and it worries me as these are not the hormones. It is purely contextual. Everything is too easy. We treat her without realizing like she can’t or she wouldn’t want to undertake hard and uncomfortable things
Yesterday she took the bus. Conrad walked her to the station. I waited for her at the end of the line. I could have driven but we abstained and helped her gain confidence instead. She was so happy yesterday.
I tell you dear parents, kids don’t want to be over protected. They don’t desire the comfort we imagine. They crave the challenge Which validates their strength and capability.
She said she wants to take the bus back. Even her saying that was already a big step.
Though at 5 when she finished her class she called and asked nonchalantly “so are you picking me up?”
I was taken aback. I said we haven’t even left. The plan was for her to take the bus. After an uncomfortable silence she hung up. It made me irritated. I waited a moment to consider our options. She called to say she is getting a ride half way home to Auchan. I knew our close friends were there shopping and asked if they could give her a ride. So she met up with them and came home. I was not at home relaxed. I fretted. I made calls but I let her figure some things out. She was so happy when she got home. She said she will take the bus tomorrow morning again.
We smother our kids thinking we do them good. We need to show them the way and let them grow let them try let them fly.
We’ll struggle. They will struggle. But us doing too much for them when they can do themselves we rob them of their courage and resilience. We wait for them to want to be independent but until we push them a bit they won’t know which way to go and how.