I found myself taking charge of certain projects in Jackie’s class. The age old engine: “if not me then who?” Still runs like clockwork. 

To my delight, people followed. Nobody challenged or complained. Though I was ready for disagreements. Last summer I also took charge and didn’t list heart when so many different opinions were expressed. 

I received so much appreciation and words o affirmation, encouragement and validation. I know I rise above drama, and while I pay attention to personal opinions, they don’t shake me much. Anymore. 

Leaders are rather solitary people. But they need to stand on solid ground and know it. Stand confidently. 

When i was promoted to an official leadership position, I rose to it easily having been reliable yet not immersed in the social drama that inevitably happens. 

But it was not always that easy. I have stepped away from ejected leadership positions because it felt unsafe and abusive. I did not care for the title and had no reason to endure nonsense abuse. 

As a 5th graders I was elected as president of the class but I was not explained any of my responsibilities or self preservation boundaries. When I started experiencing verbal abuse from teachers, I was getting heat because I was representing a bunch of students, but it still felt personal. When two colleagues didn’t do their job during the break, washing the board, I was called to wash it with my handkerchief while everyone stared. I cried. And quit my role as president of the class. Not for the incident, but because my homeroom teacher raised his shoulders powerless when I told him I want to quit and why. He did not have my back. He was not a good leader. I felt no desire to lead when I myself had no leader to follow. 

I missed out on some life leadership experience but I was happier and was able to focus on my study. 

After a lifetime experience of leadership, I was ejected as a neighborhood vice president, but after a year I quit. disillusioned. Exhausted. I was a good communicator and problem solver but I did not care for people’s anger management issues. People complained, without any regard for my private times, space or peace of mind. A neighbor who had some emotional and mental issues would stop me on my walks with my young daughter to complain loudly and angrily about the purchase of entry mats, or the trash location, or cars running or parking. Then the developer filled my ear with his complaints about things that frankly he was wrong about but he steamrolled everyone. So as I was losing sleep, and stressing for free, I decided my peace of mind takes precedence and I quit without looking back. Ah, the freedom and power to step away, as a leader. I used to wonder if I’m a good leader if I leave the unhealthy environments. But as it turns out, it’s not only acceptable but it is good to make a statement like that, and step away. Leaders put up with a lot of crap in the name of leadership but they also teach the wrong kind of service, without boundaries, consequences or self preservation.