Embracing peace

Growing pains – letting kids try imperfectly. Whoever finishes last Conrad set an impromptu rule that he/she does the dishes. Jackie did them yesterday. And she did them well, to my delight. Tonight Ivy did the dishes, and even cleaned the food cacher. 

I decided not to get mad anymore. I used to think that it is a strong enough emotion to make a difference, to move the needle. I deliberately leaned into intense emotions. Until it dawned on me that I am just as effective (now that the standard was set) by calmly stating my position and stepping away if I need to. It is quite powerful. But I have to test it further. The calm approach, without oppression into numbness. 

The world is gone mad and kids need strong leaders who know where they are going. 

This psychologist was just saying that if she had to choose, she would rather have her kids smoke between the ages of 13 to 19 instead of using social media. Though she hates smoking, if one stops at 19 after smoking their entire teenage years, their lungs will repair themselves. They will heal. But the brain will not heal from social media exposure, addiction, messaging, pleasure and depression, rejection and affirmation. 

Jackie has set aside her phone for the duration of the winter holidays and not checked it once. We didn’t micromanage it anymore. We used to when she was 9. We kept drilling the dangers of being on the phone.