As we establish a rhythm of life in Cluj, I inevitably compare and contrast it with the last time I had to adapt to the Californian home I now miss. It took me months to figure out the stores where I could shop comfortably, and to get cooking. My food only tastes good when I cook with my sixth sense.
It also took me a long time to built great friendships and for many years we felt alone as a couple – it takes flexibility and vulnerability and courage to build relationships with other couples. It’s tricky.
I had girlfriends but we were all figuring out life separately. And if we saw each other once or twice a month it was a treat.
Over the last two years we started to really harvest the riches of patiently building friendships, respecting each others’ rhythms and at the same time bravely reaching out. I have made friends at work as well. The friendships became what they were (relaxed, transparent and funny) only in the last few years. Some good things take time…
We feel very special here in Cluj. In many ways things are so much easier. Conrad and I are shoulder to shoulder, and many friendships we are just continuing at a different pace, in longterm context.
I had the privilege to get together with a few different groups of girls, and they are all so beautiful inside and out: self-aware, wise, genuine, funny, hard working and down-to-earth. Industrious and driven.
As we took care of business this past week, Conrad asked: “where are all the men?” because we dealt with mostly women: sales directors, bankers, lawyers, notaries, accountants… There is a crazy sense of courage in us.
Much like a good manager, sharing the responsibilities and subtly delegating is the secret to long term happiness, as you get to truly share in the success (in professional and personal contexts).
We are not waiting to figure everything out before we start living. It’s all happening right now.