40 % battery 

Adjusting expectations is a safe bet. I have an old Mac book air. Top of the line when I was working at Apple. But it’s now 10 years old. It still has a usb port that I need to connect to the timeless printer. Jackie writes some of her school projects on it. It’s slow at times, but great otherwise. There is one major issue. The battery is unreliable. Much like me after being in hyperdrive in the morning. It may say 40% power left but then, all of a sudden, it shuts down. No warning. No red flag. The battery used to turn red at 20% and then I would get regular warnings. When it was young, I could get another hour on a sliver of power. Not anymore. So I need to stay plugged in. Close to the power source. Intense tasks also drain the battery faster. I can see the resemblance with my personal battery. I run fast and well on a full tank, but there is no telling when I will turn a corner suddenly. Today, March 1st 2024, after driving the kids to and from school, finishing a project in their room, working some, cooking lunch, at 1:30 PM I felt completely spent. A few days before also, like I need an urgent nap. Otherwise I shut down without warning. Today I indulged and took a nap. I asked everyone for an hour of silence. I got it, and I napped on the couch, with Rufus leaning against me. Heavenly. Woke up refreshed. Worked some more and then had a long chat with Halie. 

I am getting older. I need more rests and to stay close to the power source. I may shut down temporarily, but I will turn back on. 

When I worked 9 hour shifts, taking to people all day, facilitating classes, repairing technology, software and hardware, I would go home in the evening, cook dinner, watch a show with my husband and the next morning I would do it all over again. It was a single track mind. I paced myself in that rhythm of high energy. I was also younger. But if I’m being honest, that life soon felt like a rat-race. Day in and day out, working hard, pretending the days off were delightful but often we would stay home to recharge, to see our home in the day time. I’m not longing for that life. I hoped and believed it was temporary. I worked hard to get off those tracks of daily grind. And the most incredible feeling is to have a choice in the matter. To know it in your mind and in your heart. Supposedly we all have a choice. Practically it is a bit more complicated.