A year ago, when the idea of sleepover came up, I told Jackie a story about a mom whose rule was to take all the smartphone of the friends who came over for a slumber party / sleep over. Her argument was that preteens who are sleep deprived and sugar high, and social in such a context may not make the best decision regarding involving their smartphone. The guests knew about the rule in this household and everyone dropped the phone on the Box. Except one girl thought to be clever and brought a second phone to keep. She was found out a the mom host called this girls mom to come pick her up. She lost the privilege of the sleepover.
Many question were raised and a passionate discussion was had back then. But much time had passed since.
Yesterday Jackie’s friend came over and Jackie to told me to enforce the no-phone rule so her friend would be present fully and have fun. I only said ok. Upon her arrival Jackie came and asked for the box and to restate the house rule for sleepovers. The guest friend simply put her phone next to Jackie’s in the box, and only looked for it when she left the next day in the afternoon, though it was within reach on the table, in the open box.
Jackie is younger but she knows her mind. I admit I paved the way with determination and clarity, but my heart still beams with pride seeing her take charge of the situation and setting boundaries. And asking for my help to support her with authority.
Not only she made good decisions but the way she related to me on this matter, and used an old tale I shared a long time ago to help her trace her boundaries. There is yet hope. For integrity, courage, abstinence, safety, kindness and boldness. May she always have her spark and her guiding light.