“What would you like me to say in the introduction?”
“Ask a few question to draw them in.”
— Have you ever visited an orphanage when they were still open, in their classic form? Have you heard of the institution for irrecoverable children?
As a kid I visited the orphanage with my church every Easter and Christmas. I was just slightly older than them. I remember vividly the toddlers room, where they would lift their hands from their cribs to be picked up. I guess that orphanages was better than most, and yet still an orphanage, and not the ideal place to have a happy flourishing childhood.
I’m still hunted by those visits. Why wasn’t adoption more common? What was our society afraid of? I guess much of what they fear today: loss of comfort and freedom. Paying a price. A small price compared to the value of a life lived in a safe home.
We have a dark history. And it’s hard to face it, but even more dangerous to repeat it. Through ignorance. Averting our gaze. Not engaging in constructive conversations, of understanding, of making a difference.
Sarah, David and Izidor facilitated a Q&A, though they didn’t claim to have all the answers. The questions that were asked were powerful, moving, lingering. The answers were complex and not soft to cover up discomfort. They were ment to provoke, to challenge, to start the conversation and not finish it any time soon.
I spoke slowly, the light in my face. I was not prepared with a speach but spoke from my heart. As an economist I love statistics and shared some with the audience, careful to not put them to sleep. I find statistics powerful.
Conrad paid me a compliment over coffee – I am contributing with more than the service of translation or connecting people or finding venues. My abundant knowledge and experience with the state, and the adoption process gives weight to my presence.
I come to believe now that burnout is rooted in trying to do things out of my scope, and forcing myself to say yes to all out of a misguided kindness. My lane is very narrow – the orphan care, post adoption support, facts and statistics, books, laws as I avidly read about progress and changes.
My daughters who were there wanted to speak up as well. And I was among friends I guess. My parents were in the audience and I realize it has been decades since I didn’t worry how they perceive me while im on stage. Much like I don’t worry what my daughters think. I have a message to share and the world goes quiet when I speak from the heart.