I built a reputation of finding hard to find things ever since I was a kid. 

My grandma also asked me to always thread the needle ”because you have good eyes” she said. 

I would carry the water because I was strong. I would gather the wood for fire because I was nimble. I now wonder if I became all these things because I was told I can. It was all a wise grand-parenting trick. 

When someone would ask “have you seen such and such” I would get up and help them look for it and usually find it. I had to pull back unnaturally so these last few months, because I would often leave what I was doing to help someone with their project, their conundrum, lost thing or task that needed assistance. 

This summer, as nothing was really urgent or school related, finding toys was not high on my priority list. I do love that kids know whom to ask for help. Because we are helpful. But there is a limit. Have you seen my pink shirt? Have you seen my shoes? Have you seen my keys? My book, my toy… I used to tell them how I would go about looking for it. With logic. Where was the last time I remember using/seeing it. I don’t look for stuff willy-nilly. I visualize the object. The youngest caught on fast. There other ones I still have to remind them how I would search for things. But one thing I don’t do anymore: I don’t drop everything I do to help them find stuff. I felt guilty at first. I still feel guilty at times now. But when they ask I deflect: “I did not play with your toy, I did not even see it lately. I did not wear your shoes. Where might they be? Think before frantically looking for them. Look before you ask for help.”